Sunday, March 11, 2007

Cairo Says: Attack of the Zombie Baby

(Previously posted by "Cairo" on 30th May, 2006 on Multiply)

By now, you must think that most babies (97.85%) are dim witted or something. I mean, look at em, sucking their own fingers or chewing a piece of overpriced, tasteless rubbery contraption for hours. You wouldn’t do it. Grandma wouldn't do that. Neither would Mommy. Daddy's ..... well, Daddy's a different case. Let’s detour and talk a little bit about Daddy.

He would want me to clarify anyway, so I might as well do it now. I can imagine what he’ll say if I don’t. (Daddy: Cairo must.....responsible blogger.... talk nonsense... slander....go to jail future…end up in Construction Industry!) Oh, you get what I mean….. (Wait a minute; both Mommy and Daddy are in the Construction industry. Gee, what have THEY written in THEIR BLOGS???)

Anyway, Daddy is JUST not comfortable slicing / cutting / peeling any part of him (with the exception of his hair), with anything remotely metallic. Hence the DIY teeth-job manicures! And he’d want me to add that no, he does not bite his toe nails. He peels them. What were you guys thinking; I’m the only flexible one in this household. I doubt Daddy’s mouth can touch his toes :p And when Mommy feels that it’s becoming unbearably close to being deformed (the toe nails, not Daddy), she will give Daddy a pedicure while he is sleeping. Or pretending to be sleeping.

Now back to us babies. Do you know what it's like to have a whole mouthful of teeth bursting out of your gums, one by one, with excruciatingly slow speed (like a few months / years)? Of course you don't remember, World Cup's starting soon, you need to save that space in your brain to memorize the timeslots and team trivia! *roll eyes*

For your info, it helps to numb the pain when we are biting on something. Better still if the thing we’re biting on can absorb our saliva, which is flowing incessantly, 24/7! Bear with us.... it should go away before we say 'I do' at the altar. We hope so, anyway.

Meanwhile, if our thumb sucking or pacifier-stuffed mouths are disturbing you, fine. The other alternative would be to gnaw on you smart alecky adults like a scene from ‘Nite of the Dead’ or 'Dawn of the Dead' or whatever other zombie sequels that director came up with! You prefer? *maniacal laughter*

No comments: