Thursday, June 14, 2007

Negligent Daddy + Violent Mommy = Poor Cairo

I am FURIOUS at the moment. Treat this as a bitching post. You have been warned.

I left specific instructions for hubby to look after Cairo while I do my stuff in the Study Room. He agreed.

In less than 5 minutes, we heard a loud thud sound, followed by Cairo wailing her heart out. This is what happened:

  1. her daddy deposited her in the Living Room's playpen about 3 metres from where he was sitting (back facing her) while he kept his eyes glued on the TV screen in front
  2. she tried her version of "Prison Break"
  3. she succeeded climbing out
  4. only to land her head on the tiled floor (thus the loud thud!)
I am not proud to say what happened next but I am not sure I would not do it all over again.

Yup, i rained blow after blow on my hubby's back and arms while screaming at him like a mad woman while checking on Cairo at the same time (yeah, quite the multi-tasker, me). She was being carried and soothed by Grandma (who rushed out from the bedroom upon hearing the thud) while a guilt ridden daddy tried to apply some ointment (the green stuff so good for bruises) all over Cairo's head.

Cairo stopped crying after a short while and stared at her mommy screaming at daddy instead.

Grandma quickly led her away from the accident scene and into her room. Mommy stopped screaming and stormed into the Study Room to flame Daddy all over the blogosphere as a sort of anger management. Daddy sat himself down on the Living Room's sofa and stared at a blank TV screen, chiding himself for putting some lousy reruns above his daughter's safety (or so I imagined, but I hope he loses some sleep over it tonight too! Bleh!)

Anyway, this brings me to something even more serious.

Having had a cup of tea and some minutes to cool myself down, I have finally realised that I had unleashed my whole fury on Cairo's Daddy just now! It was the kind which I usually reserve for my Fencing competitors (no I didn't box them, I whipped them hard), generated out of sheer hopelessness when I realised that time is almost out and if I do not fight hard, I would lose the duel. Yeah, the rash and unchecked kind which my coach always reprimanded me about after the game. Which I thought I had left behind on the strip a decade ago, together with the discarded mask and blade. I guess old sins die hard.

I should not have resorted to violence. It only added chaos into the confusion. But I guess the pain in the hand (when I punched hubby) sorta distracted me from the pain in my heart. So not entirely bad, right? Anyway, have not figured out enough to apologise to hubby yet!

Now, the million dollar questions; if anything really terrible had happened to Cairo (touch wood) due to her Daddy's gross negligence, would I be able to forgive him? Would he, vice versa?

And how do couples survive the the losing of a child due to above said circumstances?


Cheryl Leong said...

I must say, Jay's old habit have to weene off.. it's not good to glued to the tv n not aware of the surrounding. If bad things really happened, it takes a long time to forgive. Poor Cairo... & she's so brave, coz just cry for awhile.

cairo's mommy said...

also no mood to cut cake oredi :s
anyway, gotta cut la, promised cairo got cake for her to eat...

Sweetpea said...

i hope cairo is ok. do take note of any vomitting signs.

as for the blaming part, accidents do happen, we deal with things in different ways, but preferably calm. hitting daddy in front of cairo is not a pleasant scene, although i doubt she may have noticed with her crying.

aidan is 90% of the time under my care, and there are times i cannot prevent little accidents, they fall, they learn. but we should know no parents wants their child/ren in harm's way.

i hope u are calm enough to talk things over with hubby already :) sorry ler, i know i am being long-winded, but i also hope u know anger won't solve the problem. men! they are like that!

jazzmint said...

aiyo...poor cairo. welll what can i say, men all liddat punya. Mine oso same thing. That's why I never leave them under his care, or I'll warn him first or make sure he's not doing other stuff.

I guess he really gotta butt up and change for the good of everyone. COme lah, make the tv spoil..see what he can do kekeke

Denzil Lim said...

Poor Cairo . How is she now? Better watch out on any vomitting within 24 hours. Hubby are all like dat . They always think that putting the kid in the playpen is the safety , but they do not know that kid will find their means and ways to be "sipder man" . Try not to hit your hubby and scream at him infront of Cairo.

Anggie's journel said...

Hope lil cairo is ok now.. muuaakkk... boy fell from sofa last few days also due to daddy careless :(
got a 'bangalow' at the head, cry so hard ... mummy sam tong ...Jeremy can roll very fast now even he dun know how to crawl yet.
But accident cant be avoided also. I didnt scold my hb... but he know he was wrong , and kiss kiss kiss the son and say sory many time.
Cairo, hope u r calm and able to forgive ur hb .:)

cairo's mommy said...

thanks for the advice & comforting words u all.

firstly, i am glad to announce that cairo is ok... no vomitting n all so dont worry u guys.

and i also know i should not do the screaming / punching thingy in front of cairo n after dis incident i will try to conciously control myself. erm carry cairo n walk away next time?

i have also accepted the fact that there r "super daddies" n there r "same as the rest daddies". no point i force hb to improve and have cairo's life at stake right?

anyway, not like he did it deliberately to hurt her... i think this point is most important. i must not point fingers whenever i panic :(

we're on talking terms again v soon after the incident cos i am the fast blowing fast cooling kinda volcano :p

once again, thank u all for the support.

Sweetpea said...

attaway girl! fast blowing fast cooling :P no point harbouring it right? for all we know, we women sometimes still boiling inside and the men thinks it's already fine and sleep snoring. d'oh!

Etcetera~Mommy said...

No point crying over spilled milk now. Importantly Cairo is okay. Do watch out for any signs of unusual behaviour tho in the next 48 hours. It's your birthday, cheer up. Okay? Happy Birthday...

cairo's mommy said...

yeah i'm d rash kind that likes to settle problems on the spot but i dun bear grudges n i'm v forgiving.

i guess i over reacted yesterday cos its not the first time daddy put cairo in danger oredi...

she once ran away from home (b4 she turned 1) when we left the door closed but not locked (throwing rubbish) and he didnt look after her as promised. we found her wandering about 5 metres away from our front gate :s

cairo's mommy said...

etc mommy:
hehe thanks n noted.

funny your mentioning of spilt milk reminds me of NP's post some weeks back. only i couldn't pull my handbrake n i vented the anger on hubby lor :(

really not easy ah, doing the zen thing! anyway, turning 30 next year lor, big girl oredi, must control my temper right? :p

chinnee said... sounds so horrible. hope dear lil cairo is ok. sometimes, me and i notice also hubby tend not to blame each other so much of incidents of similars, coz both party oso very heart pain liao.

HMom said...

Hope Cairo is ok. I think daddy did not expect Cairo to be successful in climbing out. Shure he is feeling guilty.

Health Freak Mommy said...

Same case here when it comes to DH bbsitting the gals. His eyes would be glued to the tv and only god knows what the gals are up to. So I never trust him to bbsit the gals or to let him bring the gals out with the maid w/o me coz once, he dropped the maid & Sherilyn whilst he went to park his car & the maid & my poor bb got lost. I was in the spa. Thank God, DH managed to locate them. So moral of the story is dont trust hubbies with kids, in my case.
As to your question, good question. I'd like to know too.

Zara's Mama said...

I won't punch Daddy, but I think I'll give him the verbal blow..

And your million dollar question, I think it'll be hard for me to forgive.. it'll probably mark the end of the marriage.

Once I read (and you might have to), a couple who lost the son due to the wife's negligence, had her husband uttering 3 words to her, "I love you". Since the damage is done and the wife didn't mean to cause the son's death.

Oh well, it takes a lot of humanity in a person to do that, and I don't believe I'm one. :P

cairo's mommy said...

chinnee & hmom:
hmm i guess after this incident, we've all learnt something...
hubby - more careful with cairo
me - stay calm and DIY more often
cairo - prison break = very painful

HF mommy:
hmm... i think i will still give chance to hubby to develop his child minding instinct but gotta be on probation oredi :p

Zara's mama:
you r so right! we all know what's the right thing to do but the capacity of doing it is another matter altogether.